Russia 2012: Is Severodvinsk the new Tibet?
Jeff Megall (Hollywood super agent): Mr. Naylor is here to see if [in the movies] we can't get cigarettes into the hands of somebody other than the usual RAVs.
Nick Naylor (tobacco lobbyist): RAVs?
Jeff Megall: Russians, Arabs, and villains.
-- Thank You For Smoking (2006)
In the recent blockbuster 2012, all the Russians are depicted heroically -- and there is not a Borat or ex-KGB agent in sight (though not a single Arab is portrayed as a sympathetic character, but compromises were made). Of course, the most noble Russians end up dying the quickest, but ask any Slav and most would shrug and agree that such a tragedy is in line with historic reality.
2012 star John Cusack's eye is on the Sparrow (Hills) in Moscow
The bravest are actually of Ukrainian origin. The head of the Russian Federation, President Sergey Makarenko (spelled in the Russian manner, rather than the Ukrainian "Serhiy"), is not only supportive from the beginning in saving humanity, but takes the lead in breaking the deadlock that saves a substantial portion of the gene pool (even though most of them will be Chinese -- the world's "dominant ally"). In yet another Irony of Fate, his decision consequently dooms the remaining adult Russian characters.
Pre-2012 Slavs of the Future: Alexander Rozhenko, son of Worf
Tamara not only saves the American girl before rescuing her own dog, but the up-to-that-point self-absorbed Russian twins also save the dog when they are unable to help anyone else. (In contrast, the Queen of England saves two dogs and is seen with no children). One notable deviation from the cavalcade of faux Russians is the use of The Finger. A good Muscovite would be more likely to use the "I've-got-your-nose" gesture to convey disgust (counter intuitive for Americans, this means Russians are not playing games).
In actuality, the Russian characters are acted mostly by Europeans. Tamara is played by Beatrice Rosen from France, though Rosen is in danger of becoming typecast as she was Bruce Wayne's Russian arm candy, Natascha, in the greatest movie of 2008, The Dark Knight. Estonian Johann Urb is the pilot, the Murmansk oligarch is Croat-Dane Zlatko Buric, and the president is Sarajevo-born Zinaid Memisevic. The twins, Alexandre and Philippe Haussmann, hail from Long Island. Even Caesar the Dog is a Japanese Chin.
More implausible than the Mayan predestined catastrophe is that a 46-nation conspiracy (good luck with that) is revealed to be having Wal-Mart build massive ark-like quasi-submersible ships in the Himalayas. Russia Blog cannot help but be amused at the parallels going on in the Severodvinsk shipyards (Russia's largest) just outside Arkangelsk.
SevMash: The Crucible of (Future) Civilization
Could the peacenik government-sponsored submarine de-commissioning and the protests by environmental action group Bellona against Russia's new commercial floating nuclear reactors really just be cover for ark building in the far north (which, according to movie science could end up being the new roof of the world in 2012)?
2012 arks bracing for impact
1980s sub bracing for redact
Or maybe Russia is hoping that its tallest building, slated for completion in -- you guessed it -- 2012, will be able to ride out the mega-tsunami illustrated by the movie.
The Russia Tower: 118-stories, most of which will have indoor pools if Hollywood has its way
Global tsunami or not, the wave of global financial disaster might have also slowed (but not killed...yet) the Azov-City "Russian Las Vegas" project which was supposed to be operational by 2012 in plenty of time for the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics.
Azov-City: Gambling, Hokusai-style
Russia Blog would also like to note one other subtle point made by predictably lefty director Roland Emmerich's masterpiece: The earth's crust shifts dramatically which saves the protagonists, but guarantees that Alaskans really can see Russia from their house.
Possibly another disaster looming in 2012
Oh, and according to this bit of Internet research, Russia Blog may be offline in 2012:
And really, who are we to ignore the signs of what will really happen in 2012...